


if you ever feel alone

by thepriestthinksitsthedevil (stubliminalmessaging)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Aromantic Niall, Asexual Character, Asexual Zayn Malik, Demisexuality, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Harry, M/M, Multi, OT5, Polyamory, Trans Character, Trans Harry, Trans Zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 18:12:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14478354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stubliminalmessaging/pseuds/thepriestthinksitsthedevil
Summary: A day in the life of polyamorous OT5.





	if you ever feel alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thelarenttrap](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelarenttrap/gifts).



> i love ot5 to the ends of the earth so this was really my ideal prompt :D thanks for giving it to me!!
> 
> thanks to my friend [jada](https://jada-the-beta.tumblr.com/) for the last minute beta
> 
> i hope my giftee enjoys this :) i loved writing it

Louis’ alarm went off on his phone and he groaned, stretching as far as he could to reach the nightstand and turn his alarm off. Harry made it difficult where he was snoozing mostly on top of Louis, but Niall reached the alarm sooner from where he was asleep on Louis’ other side. The alarm went silent, and Louis carefully untangled himself from Harry, who was still snoring and drooling and sleeping like the dead.

 

“Thanks, Neil,” Louis said, voice raspier than usual from sleep. He crawled over top of Niall to get out of bed, ruffling Niall’s messy blond hair and pressing a scruffy kiss to his cheek on his way past. Niall chuckled and rolled over, pulling the sheets back over his head and jostling Harry, who slept on.

 

Louis plucked a pair of boxers off the floor and pulled them on, pushing his tangled fringe off his face as he left Niall and Harry to snooze. He left their room and shut the door gingerly, crossing their suite to the second bedroom that they were using.

 

When he opened the door of the other room, he poked his head in. He saw a mound of blankets vaguely shaped like a person on one side and rumpled covers thrown back on the other side. Liam never missed his alarm, so to see that he had already headed off to the gym relaxed Louis. They had a routine for getting ready in the mornings, and this morning was right on track.

 

Padding quietly across the carpeted floor, Louis crawled into the empty side of the bed and slipped under the covers. He started touching Zayn very slowly and gently, running one hand up his side, fingers catching on his ribcage. Zayn slept through that, so Louis shuffled closer, moving his hand up and stroking his fingers through Zayn’s hair.

 

After a moment of this, Zayn’s eyes fluttered open the slightest bit, his lashes batting like delicate insect wings. Louis moved closer and kissed his eyelids in turn, pulling back just far enough to see the shy smile that Zayn smothered in the pillow a second later.

 

“It’s time to get up, babes,” he said softly, leaning close again and pecking kisses to his exposed earlobe. “We need to shower.”

 

Zayn groaned and pushed his face further into the pillow. Louis rubbed gentle circles in his back and kept kissing his neck and his ear and his sweaty-smelling hair. Louis wouldn’t be able to function in this band (and in their relationship) if he hadn’t grown to love the smell of his boys, though.

 

“C’mon, love, we have to get up,” Louis told him. If it was up to him, he would just leave Zayn snoozing and cuddle with him, but they had to do this interview and then they were free all day until the show that night so Zayn could have a nap later if he wanted to. Louis nudged the covers down so they weren’t pulled up over Zayn’s head and nosed at his cheek. “You can lean on me and I’ll wash your hair,” he offered, knowing that Zayn loved having his hair played with and his scalp massaged, though not as much as Harry did. Meanwhile, Niall liked head scratches but not after his hair was freshly dyed, and Liam’s neck and ears were so sensitive and ticklish that they mostly avoided the area altogether unless they (Louis) wanted to bother him.

 

“Fine,” he grumbled, finally lifting his head and looking at Louis, blinking his big dark eyes sleepily. He supposed he’d blink like that too if his eyelashes weighed his eyelids down the way Zayn’s must.

 

Louis crawled over Zayn to his edge of the bed then, since he’d agreed to get up and shower but he’d made no move to actually get out of bed. Louis helped him up and supported most of his weight as they made their way to the en suite attached to that room. Zayn leaned against the wall outside the shower and yawned while Louis got it ready, and Louis undressed them both before he was helping Zayn climb into the shower ahead of him.

 

Zayn shuffled under the spray of hot water like he always did, greedy for the warmth after he’d been forced to leave the cozy bed. He enjoyed the water for a long moment before he made an effort to actually wet his hair, pushing it back so that he wouldn’t get any shampoo in his eyes or mouth when Louis started washing it.

 

The bathroom was warm and humid from Louis running the water until it was the perfect temperature, but he still let Zayn stay under the stream and stay warm with his head out just enough for Louis to work the shampoo into his thick dark hair. The shampoo smelled like apples and all five of them shared it, and Louis loved burying his face in any of his boys’ hair or their necks and finding them all smelling so familiar and sweet.

 

Louis used the tips of his fingers to massage Zayn’s scalp as best he could (Harry was the best person to shower with because he had the longest nails out of the five of them and he reduced their knees to jelly when he got to work) and Zayn pulled him in by the hips so they were pressed together under the water.

 

Louis hummed in pleasure at the warmth of Zayn’s skin and smiled against Zayn’s mouth when he drew him into a kiss. It was chaste, without a destination or any kind of pressure to become anything more, and as much as Louis’ body sometimes wanted it to escalate, kissing Zayn and feeling the other man melt against him and relax and trust him like this was so much better.

 

“Close your eyes,” Louis murmured reluctantly, knowing that if they dawdled too much longer, they would be late. They’d stopped kissing awhile ago, and Zayn had slowly slumped further down against Louis, leaning more and more of his weight against him. This was typical of spending time around a sleepy Zayn Malik, so Louis just held him and touched him like he was something precious and fragile, with gentle fingers and sweeping touches.

 

Zayn closed his eyes and Louis cupped one hand over his eyes while he worked on rinsing the shampoo out with the other, running his fingers through Zayn’s hair and making sure the water ran clean before he reached for the body wash.

 

He poured a generous amount of soap into his hands and then rubbed them together, lathering them up before he began running his palms over Zayn’s body. He preferred this to using a cloth or a loofah because when he and Harry had started dating, Harry had always wanted the feeling of Louis’ bare hands on him, taking care of him. It made sense that after so long, that sentiment had carried over to how he treated his other boys.

 

Zayn seemed to enjoy it, letting out a long, happy sigh when Louis started soaping him up. Louis was reverent when he touched Zayn normally, but he was extra gentle when he touched Zayn like this. He knew from experience that too much of this kind of touch used to make Zayn very uncomfortable, but Louis and the others were well versed in Zayn’s asexuality and knew what was too much. He still  _ loved _ being touched and cuddled and often crawled into the other boys’ bunks on the bus or curled up against their sides or in their laps, but they all knew his personal comfort zone and hadn’t pushed it in a long time.

 

When Louis’ soapy hands reached Zayn’s chest, his touch turned absolutely feather light. The pads of his fingers traced the white scars that traced out the shape of Zayn’s pectorals. He’d had his top surgery a couple years ago, and the scars were old and had long since stopped hurting. Louis still treated him like he was delicate, his fingers touching Zayn soft as a whisper.

 

Zayn given up on pointing this out to any of them a long time ago. Instead he ducked his head to hide his smile and enjoyed the warmth of Louis’ comforting touch.

 

-

 

Niall set a ten minute alarm so that he and Harry could snooze a bit longer before they had to get up and start getting ready. He scooted closer to Harry, seeking out the warmth of his skin. He didn’t need to spoon Harry because the younger man always got almost fever-hot while he slept, so he just laid down close enough to him to feel the warmth radiating off him. He was floating pleasantly on the edge of proper sleep and about to sink into it deeper when his alarm blared on the pillow he’d originally been sleeping on.

 

Niall turned his alarm off and wound up to whack Harry in the face with a pillow but when he turned back towards him he was met with Harry awake and yawning, rubbing at his eyes.

 

“Breakfast?” he asked hopefully, and Harry nodded a little, slumping over after he was done yawning.

 

Together they crawled out of bed and left their room, setting up camp at the kitchenette in their suite. Harry put down two pieces of bread in the toaster and Niall put on the kettle, gathering the various toppings that the boys liked on their toast. On a date where they didn’t have an interview first thing, they might make something more substantial or order a real breakfast. Zayn and Louis both didn’t like eating a lot until they’d properly woken up around midday though, so there was no point in pursuing anything hearty. Still, toast was something in their bellies.

 

The first round of toast popped up and Niall quickly smeared the slices with marmalade and sent Harry off to the mirror he traveled with so he could do his morning routine. Niall put down another round of toast and Harry kissed his cheek, taking his toast into their room.

 

Harry set his plate down on the edge of the desk in the corner of the room where he’d set up his mirror. He traveled with a make-up and hair kit so that on days where they weren’t getting styled professionally for some interview or other appearance, he could style himself. On days like this one, he was just going to have his hair styled and a little bit of powder dusted over the oily parts of his face, so there was no point. Instead, he put his hair in a bun, wolfed down his toast, and went about his moisturizing routine.

 

He wasn’t allowed to go out wearing anything heavier than a little concealer and maybe a lip balm that matched his own cherry lips, but when they had days to themselves he could put mascara and blush on and feel free while hanging out in their rooms with his boys. He’d kiss them and delight in how they’d pull away with lipstick smeared on their mouths, and he loved when they told him just how pretty he looked and fawned over him. Some days, he wore flowy blouses and crop tops and, occasionally, a dress or a skirt. He blushed and got shy whenever the boys touched him when he was like that, but they knew by then that sometimes Harry just needed to feel fluid.

 

At first, it had taken some time before the rest of the band understood that Harry’s need to wear make-up and feminine clothing was not necessarily always a sexual thing. He’d initially introduced it by begging Louis to fuck him in a skirt, before they had reached a point where the five of them were together. He’d acted like it was a sex thing, but as time went on he’d taken to wearing panties more days than not, and lounging around in femme clothing when it was just the two of them just for fun. Louis had broached the topic with him and Harry had admitted that maybe he didn’t really feel like a boy most of the time and Louis had just kissed him and assured him that he was whoever he felt like.

 

Coming out as non-binary to the rest of the boys had been easy once he knew that he had Louis in his corner. Liam had immediately panicked and apologized profusely for anything he may have accidentally done that had offended Harry. He was nearly crying when he expressed how sorry he was for calling Harry lad three months ago. Zayn had taken Liam’s hand and squeezed it, soothing his boyfriend before asking what Harry’s pronouns were.

 

That bit had been a challenge. Harry’s feelings about his gender changed daily sometimes, and he was initially shy about asking the boys to call him ‘she’ or ‘they’ because he didn’t want to make it confusing or hard for the rest of them. Louis had been great about it though, and each morning he’d woken Harry up with a kiss to his temple and a quiet question. They had tried different systems so that the band could have a universal way to know Harry’s pronouns on any given day, but nothing worked for them as well as the fridge magnets Liam had suggested one day.

 

“Here, we can make a magnet that’s a picture of you, Harry,” Liam had said, bright-eyed and grinning and clearly excited as he showed Harry the pinterest page for ‘pronoun fridge magnets’ that he’d found. “And then we can make ones for the different pronouns you use, and you can put your current pronoun under your picture, and put the others off to the side.”

 

So they had done that. They’d printed out a picture of Harry and glued it to some cardboard before slathering it with glitter. They’d put the whole thing on a magnet and started bringing it and its pronoun magnets to each hotel as they traveled. For days on the bus, Niall had taped a magnetic strip to the frame outside Harry’s bunk so that he could stick his pronoun there and let them all know when they woke up in the morning. They even had a little dollar store magnetic board for when they were in single hotel rooms and didn’t have a fridge to put it on.

 

Harry finished applying his handful of skin care products and closed his kit, getting up from the desk and going back to where Niall was putting the finishing touches on the mountain of toasts he’d been working on. During their skincare routine, Harry had determined that today was going to be a they/them sort of day and so they changed their fridge magnets to reflect that.

 

Niall smiled at them, and together they sorted the toasts out and started putting the appropriate toppings on them.

 

-

 

Niall started the little two-cup coffee put in their suite when he heard the shower turn off in the bathroom. A moment later, Louis and Zayn emerged from the bathroom with a cloud of steam. Zayn appeared to be asleep again where he leaned on Louis’ shoulder, but Louis had a lot of experience at this so he just hauled Zayn off to his room. A few minutes later they came back out fully dressed, Louis wearing Liam’s joggers which he had to roll up over his ankles and Zayn with a beanie pulled over his wet hair. Louis deposited Zayn at the table against the wall and Niall finished preparing his coffee and brought it over along with his plate of plain buttered toast.

 

Right on time, the door to their suite swung open and Liam stepped in, sweaty and gorgeous and perfect. Perhaps on another morning, Niall might have acted on his desire to lick up the drops of sweat he could see running down Liam’s neck and soaking into the damp neck of his vest. As it was, they were busy, and so Niall just had to be satisfied with the good morning kiss Liam gave him as he made the rounds and gave one to each of the others as well. Then he strode into the bathroom to have a shower, and Niall sat down with his own toast in the seat next to Zayn.

 

Zayn was sitting up by this point, munching sluggishly at mouthfuls of toast and washing it down with his coffee, which had just a splash of cream with loads of sugar. Niall dug into his own banana Nutella toast and smiled at Zayn every time he looked up from where he’d been staring moodily into his mug.

 

Louis was at the counter working his magic. Where Niall was the master of preparing perfect toast for his boys and Harry, Louis was the same with making tea. Harry got a mug of sweet Earl gray, Niall got regular orange pekoe with one spoonful of sugar and a splash of milk, Liam got a glass of chocolate milk to go with his avocado toast, and Louis himself got milky Yorkshire tea with no sugar to wash down his buttered cinnamon raisin toast. Between Niall and Louis, they were an unstoppable breakfast team. Or at least they were on mornings when Harry doesn’t have a chance to knock them all out with their incredible full English.

 

Liam came out of the bathroom fully dressed and sat down to eat his breakfast. They all finished getting ready and were draining the last dregs of the tea when Paul knocked on their door to herd them down to the van. They were all ready to go, but Paul still gave them shit because that was what Paul did. Regardless of what Paul said, their routine was perfect.

 

-

 

The interview was very standard. They answered questions about girls and their next album, and joked with each other like the always did. They had gone through different interviews with the same topics and questions, so redirecting the interviewers or being vague about some topics was easy for them.

 

The only challenge that occurred during the interview was that the interviewer kept misgendering Harry. She didn’t know about their transness and their pronouns, so it wasn’t like she was doing it on purpose, but Harry still gnawed their lip and frowned, withdrawing when anyone referred to them with the wrong pronouns.

 

Unable to verbally reassure them and show their support explicitly, they did whatever else they could to make them feel valid. Harry had Niall sitting on their left and Zayn sitting on their right. Zayn held their hand under the table and Niall squeezed their thigh comfortingly, facing forward and paying attention to the interviewer but still providing support to their partner.

 

After the interview, they had a free afternoon before they had to go to the vanue to get ready for the show that evening. They wrote down their food orders so that someone from their team could go and get their food for them, and then brought it back to their hotel room.

 

Maybe it wasn’t a particularly conventional or romantic date, but it was hard for them to go out together on dates as a five-way relationship that felt romantic anyways. Instead they cuddled up together on the sofa in their hotel room and watched movies together.

 

A knock at the door came when they were an hour into into  _ Pacific Rim _ , and Louis disentangled himself where he’d been curled up against Liam’s side to go and answer it. This was unusual because Louis never volunteered to do anything extra, so the band was not surprised when he accepted a delivery in hushed tones and closed the door and came back into the room with something hidden behind his back.

 

Harry looked up when Louis crossed the room and paused in front of him where they and Niall were cozied up on either side of Zayn. Zayn and Niall goth groaned that Louis was blocking the telly, and Louis ignored them. With a dramatic flourish, he produced a bouquet of pink roses from behind his back, which made Harry gasp in delight. They wrestled their way up off the couch and pounced into Louis’ arms, and Niall shouted indignantly until Louis led a gushing Harry off to the kitchenette.

 

They continued to alternate between rambling about how pretty the roses were and kissing Louis, and Louis just chuckled and searched the cupboards for a vase. He found one on the top shelf and Harry had to reach up and get it down for him. He filled it with water and placed the roses in it, then set it on the table and turned his full attention to Harry, who was giving him their fondest look.

 

They carried on kissing and talking quietly, then returned to the sofa where Harry wrapped Louis up in their arms snugly. They barely watched the movie because they were constantly torn between glancing back to look at the flowers sitting on the table and pressing kisses to Louis’ cheeks and nose and temple and into his hair. Louis smiled his scrunchy little smile and rested his head on Harry’s chest happily.

 

When the credits were rolling so that he wouldn’t be violating the sanctity of the movie’s audio, Niall piped up, both eyes locked on Harry and Louis’ affectionate display. “Lou, you know Harry’s a pretty sure thing, right? Why do you buy flowers for them? You don’t exactly need to wine and dine them.”

 

Louis snorted and reached up to brush Harry’s curls behind their ears on one side. “Because they like flowers, Neil.”

 

Niall didn’t have a further comment than that. Instead, he just settled back down on the couch and watched as Liam got up to change the disc to another movie. They voted on it, and when Zayn, Liam, and Louis all voted for  _ The Amazing Spider-Man 2 _ so that was what they would watch. Despite this, the DVD menu for Niall’s choice,  _ Live Free or Die Hard _ , began playing. Niall supposed that Liam picking the movie that Niall wanted despite him being outvoted was like his version of buying Harry flowers, and he understood Louis’ actions a little bit more.

 

-

 

Liam had his arm around Zayn when, fifteen minutes into Niall’s movie, he saw movement out of the corner of his eye.

 

Still caught up in their amorous mood from earlier, Harry and Louis had moved from snuggling and whispering together to kissing. It started innocently enough, as it usually did with them. They pressed sweet kisses to each other’s cheeks and lips but before long their hands were wandering and they were biting each other’s lips. Then suddenly, Harry was straddling Louis’ leg and grinding down on it.

 

Liam glanced at Niall and saw that he was watching too, gnawing his lip. His blue eyes followed Harry’s hand as it moved down rub over Louis’ lap, and he looked like he might want to join in but he made no move to get up. Zayn wasn’t watching, gaze trained to the TV where Bruce Willis was busy being a badass. He was twitchy though, fidgeting and blinking a lot. Liam was just about to turn and snap at Harry and Louis when they both got up, Harry taking Louis’ hand and pulling him to the bedroom that they’d established for sex.

 

Liam and Niall just wriggled in closer against Zayn’s side and turned the volume on the TV up to drown out Louis and Harry’s giggles and moans.

 

-

 

Louis and Harry returned just in time to eat dinner before they had to head to the venue for that night’s show. The rest of the band knew what the two of them liked and had ordered it for them. They were just emerging from a quick shower when the food was delivered.

 

“Disgusting,” Niall commented through a mouthful of his spicy chicken pita as he watched Harry and Louis collapse onto the sofa together. They were loved up and clingy, talking to each other in soft voices and stars in their eyes.

 

They ate and all got dressed in comfy clothes that they were going to have to change out of as soon as they got to the venue anyways and hit the road, meeting up with their security team outside their room. They chattered happily as they made their way down to the parking garage, walking close together and bumping elbows and shoulders as they went.

 

They had to split into two vehicles so fit all of them and their security, and Harry finally managed to detach themself from where they were glued to Louis’ side and holding his hand to climb into the back of a van with Liam. Louis and Niall sandwiched Zayn between them in the back of their van, teasing him and tickling him to try and make him laugh.

 

Harry was still feeling clingy so they stayed pressed against Liam’s side for the entire ride, their hands entwined and smushed between them. They ended up leaning their head on Liam’s shoulder, nuzzling into his neck and resting there after pressing a grateful kiss to his chin. Liam put an arm around them and they hummed happily, clearly so comfortable, even if the car ride wasn’t going to be that long.

 

Both vans arrived at the venue quickly, and the band and crew climbed out of them. Someone came to get them and bring them to their dressing rooms and green room, where they found all of their clothes and hair and make-up stuff already set up.

 

The next few hours were spent getting ready and playing their show. The show was incredible, as always. The crowd was radiant and they sounded good and they fooled around with each other and had just as much fun as the people who had come to see them. It was an amazing show and an amazing night and all five of them were buzzing with energy when they bounded off stage and piled back into the vans.

 

They were all restless as they rode back to the hotel. Even Zayn was talking enthusiastically with one of their security guards about some of the more creative signs that he’d seen fans holding. Harry was practically in Niall’s lap while still somehow being buckled up with his seatbelt, and Louis was whispering something to Liam that, based on the devilish expression on Louis’ face and the flush creeping to the tips of Liam’s ears, had to have been filthy.

 

The second they crossed the threshold of their room, Harry was getting naked and Louis was palming at Liam’s dick, still leaning up on his toes and talking dirty to him, the entire lengths of their bodies pressed together. Niall trailed along after them as they all went into the Sex Bedroom, grin wide and trousers tented.

 

Zayn, however, took his time taking off his shoes by the door, then went to the other bedroom and gathered his art supplies to get some work done. When he returned to the living space with his sketchbook and his marker case, he could hear the sounds the others were making through the wall. Normally this didn’t bother him, but he wanted to be able to focus so he spread his materials out on the floor and put his headphones in. He got a couch cushion to sit on and got to work, sketching out a dynamic drawing of Nightcrawler that he could add detail to and colour with his markers.

 

He used to be more upset when his partners were having sex and he didn’t want anything to do with it, but he’d learned in time that he was fairly introverted and preferred to spend a little bit of time alone each day. What better time to have his alone time to read or draw or play video games or sleep than while his mates were fucking?

 

Zayn grew bored of colouring with markers and got up to get his paints from his luggage. He liked spray painting and using stencils most, but he couldn’t exactly do that in their hotel room so he just used brushes and acrylic paint instead. He’d just finished painting the background of a sunset in his sketchbook when Niall came out of the room. He’d yanked a pair of boxer briefs on and he was flushed from sex, sticky-looking with sweat. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and strolled over to Zayn.

 

“Ooh, can I see?” he asked, watching Zayn work for a second. He showed Niall his in-progress painting but couldn’t show him the Nightcrawler drawing yet because it was on another page of his sketchbook which he couldn’t access because the paint was still wet.

 

“Sick as always, lad,” Niall said, messing affectionately with Zayn’s hair and then flopping down on the sofa. “You mind?” he asked, picking up the remote, and Zayn told him to go ahead. Niall turned the TV on and Zayn put his headphones back in and went back to painting.

 

Some time later, the door to the other room creaked open and Harry stepped out, clad in a dainty pink silk robe and possibly nothing else. They strolled over to the kitchenette and retrieved a banana to have as a snack. They curled up against the arm of the sofa, eyes big and droopy as they watched whatever Niall had put on TV while they opened their banana from the bottom. They were quiet, but Zayn knew that sometimes they got that way after a particularly intense scene, which Zayn assumed it was since Liam was still in the other room with Louis.

 

Zayn watched for another moment as Harry chewed slowly at their banana before he finally gave up on trying to be productive. The others were too much of a distraction, and he was hungry for their touch after being apart for… two hours.  _ Christ _ . No wonder Harry was so floaty. Liam was probably going to be fucked right up when he finally came out of the room.

 

When Zayn came back from tidying his art supplies up and putting them back in his luggage, he went and sat with Harry on the couch, curling against their side. They put an arm around Zayn’s shoulders and Zayn huffed out a sigh, feeling loved where he snuggled against Harry’s warm body. They watched the TV quietly until Louis and Liam finally joined them, about a half an hour after Harry had.

 

Louis held Liam’s hand and Liam moved slowly and unsteadily as Louis led him out to the couch. Niall slid off the couch to make room for Liam, sitting cross-legged on the floor and watching with wide blue eyes as Louis helped Liam settle in on the couch. Liam was flushed and glassy-eyed, not unlike Harry, but Harry was much more accustomed to coming back from being in subspace and Liam was not. He didn’t have sex with them very often, but when he did and when Louis dommed him, he was extremely delicate afterwards.

 

Once he’d deposited Liam on the couch and made sure he was comfortable, Louis went to the kitchenette and filled up the kettle for a round of tea. He prepared their mugs while the water was boiling, but he kept shooting curious glances at Liam and, less frequently, Harry. He was always thorough with his aftercare whenever he dommed one of them, and there was no doubt that the extra time he’d spent in the room with Harry and Liam had been full of loving cuddles and soft, fond words.

 

Zayn reached over to where Liam was sitting on the couch, facing forward with his shoulders slumped. He placed a careful hand on Liam’s shoulder, and Liam’s physical response to his touch was delayed, but he looked so sleepy and sweet when he turned to look at Zayn.

 

“C’mere, babes,” Zayn murmured, encouraging Liam to lean on him. He pet at Liam’s hair, pushing it back off his sweaty brow, and Liam didn’t say anything but Zayn could feel how he relaxed against Zayn’s side. Louis waited to catch Zayn’s eye, then smiled gratefully at him. The kettle finished boiling and soon Louis was passing out the mugs of tea, made to perfection for each of his partners.

 

Liam didn’t drink much of his tea, just held the warm mug with both hands cupped around it and sipped at it whenever Louis was looking at him. He came back to them slowly, and when he was looking more like himself and smiling at each other them in turn, Louis visibly relaxed.

 

Louis had Niall help him dip into the stash of snacks they kept in their rooms wherever they stayed, grabbing an assortment of fruits, cookies, and cereal bars, as well as several bottles of water, and laying them out on the coffee table. They collected snacks for themselves and Louis picked out an apple, a strawberry cereal bar, and a bottle of water each for Zayn and Liam. He watched attentively as Zayn helped Liam open his snacks and his shoulders slackened noticeably as they both began to eat and drink.

 

The group relaxed together, sprawled on various cozy pieces of furniture and Niall on the plush rug on the floor. He’d leaned his head back against the sofa behind him next to where Liam sat, and once Liam was done eating he’d gotten his fingers into Niall’s bleached hair and started scratching and massaging at his scalp. Niall practically purred at the attention and touch, his head rolling on his neck to allow Liam to scratch all over his scalp.

 

Liam and Zayn were still curled up close on the couch, but Harry had gotten up from their spot next to Zayn to climb into Louis’ lap where he was sitting in an armchair adjacent to the couch. They started out in Louis’ lap but wormed their way down into the chair until they were both mashed together in the thankfully wide seat.

 

They all finished their respective tea and snacks, watching the TV with droopy eyes and frequent rounds of yawns traveling through the group like a wave. Niall began snoring softly where he’d dozed off on the floor, so a few minutes later when Zayn crawled out of Liam’s arms and headed off to bed, Niall got up and went with him to one of the bedrooms. They wished everyone else goodnight and Niall held Zayn’s hand as they walked off.

 

Upon seeing that Liam was sitting on the couch alone, Louis and Harry both got up from the chair and went to join him. Louis sat on Liam’s left in the space that Zayn had previously been occupying. Harry lifted Liam’s right arm and draped it over their own shoulders, snuggling in against Liam’s side. Liam let out a happy little sigh when he was surrounded by so much warmth and love. Louis found Liam’s hand and slotted their fingers together, always careful to be extra affectionate and extra attentive to Liam when they’d just done a scene.

 

Louis and Harry cuddled with Liam for about a half an hour longer, and by the time it was getting on two o’clock in the morning, Louis made the decision that they were all going to bed.

 

“Time for bed, my gorgeous loves,” Louis said softly, getting up from the couch and starting to gather up their snack garbage and their tea mugs. Harry would rinse the mugs in the morning so Louis just left them in the sink, then all three of them went to the en suite to brush their teeth.

 

Liam had finished getting ready for bed first, and when Harry and Louis went back into the bedroom to crawl into bed with him, they found him sitting at the foot of the bed and frowning down at his hands where they fidgeted in his lap.

 

“Are you okay, Liam?” Harry asked, taking a seat next to him. They placed a comforting hand on Liam’s leg, smiling at him. Liam avoided their eyes at first, but eventually he looked up and smiled back. Harry’s dimples popped and Liam blushed but did not offer any further insight.

 

“Tell us what you need, sweetheart,” Louis said, sitting down on Liam’s other side and reaching up to run his fingers through Liam’s hair. Liam leaned into his touch and squeezed Harry’s hand. He sat in silence, soaking up their love, then finally spoke.

 

“Can we...try to all fit in one bed?” Liam asked quietly. He got clingy after they scened, so this was not surprising to Louis or Harry.

 

“Of course,” Louis said, rolling to the side and crawling up to the head of the bed. He’d put clean sheets on after their scene, so there was no worry of someone ending up in the wet spot. He pulled back the covers so that they could crawl under, but Harry’s voice gave him pause.

 

“He means all five of us,” Harry said, squeezing Liam’s hand and watching him carefully.

 

Liam shrugged, flushing and staring at his and Harry’s hands. “Want you all close,” he mumbled. Louis crawled back down the bed and gently tackle-hugged Liam from behind, hugging him around his shoulders.

 

“That’s a great idea, Payno,” Louis said. “But do you think you can carry me there on your back?” he asked, kissing Liam’s cheek playfully. Liam reached back and grabbed Louis around the back of his knees, pulling his legs so they wrapped around him. Then he stood up, lifting Louis with him. Louis let out a shout of surprise and clung on while Harry giggled.

 

Together they went to the other room, and Liam turned his back to the bed and dumped Louis onto it, making him squawk indignantly. Zayn slept through the disturbance, but Niall groaned and sat up, rubbing his eyes and squinting at them.

 

His complaints died down when Liam crawled into bed side him and arranged himself so that he was spooning Niall. Liam was always very warm, so Niall hummed happily and settled back in.

 

Harry crawled in behind Liam and wrapped him up in their arms, humming contently when Liam wiggled a little until he was comfortable between them and Niall.

 

Louis hummed in thought for a moment as he looked at his cuddling partners taking up most of the bed. He started by going to to the edge of the bed where Zayn was sleeping and crawled under the covers with him. Zayn was dead asleep through this entire affair, and Louis didn’t seem pleased with having his cuddles go unreciprocated, so he switched sides and spooned in behind Harry.

 

There they settled, each dozing off eventually. They would not all be there in the morning - Niall would get too warm after a couple hours of sleeping curled up with his band, and he would starfish out on the king sized bed all my himself. Sometimes their lives took some rearranging and a lot of their days were trial and error, but no matter what else happened, they had each other, the only fixed points in each other’s lives.


End file.
